Humor 2011

All quotes found on the internet are completely accurate. – Mark Twain


Demographic breakdown of folks entering bars:

53% ducks, 

26% ethnic caricatures, 

19% clergymen, 

2% alcoholics. – FakePewResearch 

(0.1% faster-than-light neutrinos)

Turkey is most glorified in you when you are most stuffed with it. – fakejohnpiper

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. – Richard Lamm

"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.

San Francisco's proposed ban on circumcisions may be on the chopping block. Opponents hope to nip it in the bud. – 27 July 2011 KCBS

Midwives. They help people out. – David Pogue and absinthetozest