Sunday, December 26, 2004

The Meaning Of Christmas

So what is the practical meaning of Christmas? Anyone can say it is a celebration of the birth of Christ, but who actually gives gifts to him and not to family members on that day?

When I was a child, Christmas meant getting up very early to open gifts from the folks and then be rushed off reluctantly to an early church serivce. There was always a big dinner with lots of aunts and uncles in attendance. Food consisted of turkey with all the trimmings, jello salads, and pies.

As we grew older, we wanted to share in giving gifts as well as receiving them. This probably didn't happen until we were into high school or even out of school, because until we had jobs there wasn't much money to spend on others.

When we became adults, we made concerted efforts to take some of the load off our parents, and to find suitable gifts for them. We seldom had success on either front. The aunties were never willing to concede their jello-making monopoly. And my parents were often notoriously difficult to shop for (or even create things for).

When I was in high school I met Jesus and honoring his birth made more sense to me. But the hectic ready-making for Christmas morning turned all other priorities upside down, and it was always with bleary eyes that we went to church to do that honor, irrespective of any desire to do so. And often with irritation grown of frustrations or disappointments with shopping or crafting.

For many years Christmas was a difficult time for all of us. They became most difficult of all in 1998 when my mother went into the hospital on Christmas day, and passed away the next day. As much as we tried to pull together as a family, Christmas was always a strain after that. Now we are lucky to get all of my brothers and sisters together in the same room on any occasion, even Christmas. Perhaps we discovered that the glue that held our family together was not Jesus, but my mother.

Fortunately I was introduced to Mary's family in 1997, and that gave me a glimpse of a different kind of Christmas. Mary's nephews and nieces ranged in age from 6 to 11 (at that time), and it was a joy to buy, or preferably make, gifts for them.

Every year since 1999, Mary and I have had a "tradition" of making special craft projects for everyone in close family, about 18 people in all. One year it was cardboard boxes in the shape of stockings, covered with cloth, with goodies inside. Another time it was small wooden boxes, painted with different designs, filled with little treasures. Mary has taken to making sets of rubber-stamped all-occasion greeting cards, which everyone loves. Last year I made binders with covers laden with family photographs, tailored to each family member. (I'm not yet divulging this year's project because not all have been distributed yet!)

But where is Christ in all of this? Jesus loved the little children, but eventually they all grow up and become difficult adults, much harder to love. Jesus loved to give to others, but would he stay up late nights doing art projects while neglecting his relationship with his Father, as we do in order to meet our self-imposed deadlines? And of course the artists always wants to draw attention to himself and his effort; this is part of the artist personality. Did Jesus have this neurosis? God forbid!

I like to think that in my mother I saw something of what Jesus was like. She baked the turkey, she baked the pies, but she desired to see us eat them; she did not desire to brag about them. She reluctantly let us wash the dishes, her fine china and silver that she never quite felt comfortable trusting us with.

So this year, Mary and I missed going to church with the rest of the family because we were still working on craft projects at the last minute. We did not get home until 4:00 am, which meant that we were not up early enough to go to any church today (and which also means that after sleeping in, now at 2:00 am I'm not too tired to be typing up all this). So Jesus escaped us completely. I don't even recall saying grace when we ate last night.

We can say with certainty that we did not become caught up in the consumerism of the season, although without a doubt we did spend money. But honoring Jesus must mean more than rejecting the consumer mentality. It must mean more than just spending time with family. Anyone of any religion, or even no religion, can do those things as well or better than we did.

Reading some of the articles I've posted recently, one might be tempted to think that honoring Jesus means saying "Merry CHRISTmas" to everyone in earshot, and suing those who don't respond in kind. Or perhaps it means refusing to put up a "pagan" decorated tree. Perhaps it means eating turkey instead of chinese food. Perhaps it means shopping at Wal-Mart instead of at Target. Would complaining about how the country is going to hell in a bucket suffice? No, everyone does that, whether they are attempting to honor Jesus or not.

My stepson (and Mary's son) is serving with the U.S. Marines in Iraq. We chat with him on the computer almost every day. He has been telling us about near-misses and fallen friends. We have been praying for him every day. Perhaps the way we can most honor Jesus is to acknowledge the role he plays in our lives. He sustains us while our son is in a dangerous situation. He sustains our son as well. We can do nothing but pray. God has put us in this situation against our will. We can do nothing but look to him for comfort, safety, and encouragement. So now God has us right where he wants us. We have no choice but to honor him with lips and lives. We can do nothing for our son. But we can expect our God to do miracles.

"And we have such confidence through Christ toward God; not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as being out of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God." - 2 Corinthians 3:4-5

When we have failed in every other way, we can look to God, the source of our lives, our sustainer, and our only comfort. No matter what else we might do on this Christmas day, if we do that, we honor Jesus in the way that he wants to be honored.

Jesus, thank you for continuing to take care of us, our son, and our families. Thank you for remembering our friends who are ill, relatives who have been in the hospital recently, and nieces whose mothers have died and left no one to take care of them. Help us to be your hands, mouth and eyes to those who need you as acutely as we do. Amen.


Physical Therapy

My surgeon approved six weeks of physical therapy at my request. Actually, I requested it because my chiropractor's office said they could provide it. The office has a PT and and MD on staff, in addition to the nutritionists and massage therapists.

The surgeon suggested both water therapy and the stationary bicycle. Water therapy consists of simply moving the injured leg around in a small pool of warm water, such as a hot tub. It need not be hot, just warm. Some rehabilitation clinics have pools designed just for this purpose. The intention is that being in the water reduces the weight one is placing on the injured leg, while at the same time the water provides some resistance to motion in the lateral dimensions where muscle strengthening is needed.

My chiropractor's office has an alternative to water therapy. It is simply a treadmill with an overhead harness. They strap me in the harness and they can lift anywhere up to my full body weight off the ground. Then intention here is to restore a normal gait while still reducing the weight I'm placing on the injured leg.

I was disappointed that they didn't start me on the treadmill right away. But the physical therapist really knows her stuff. They started me out with isometric exercises. These consisted of simple exercises like squeezing a pillow between my knees, lying down while pushing my foot into the floor, etc. These exercises started stretching and strengthening the muscles with very little initial impact. This first phase lasted about two weeks.

After two weeks, we started two kinds of stronger exercises. One used rubber cords as resistance, and I had to pull my leg in every direction against the cord. This provided an isolated exercise for
each muscle in the leg. They have these cords set up in the office.

The second kind of exercise was a set of leg lifts in every possible dimension with a one-pound weight around the ankle. This was initially painful in one or two dimensions, particlarly abduction
and adduction (lateral movement of the legs apart, together, and across each other). They instructed me what kind of weights to buy at a local sports store.

In this phase, it sped things up tremendously that Mary happened to have some of the rubber cords at home, so I was able to do these exercises at home as well as in the office. So after just a few days, I developed enough strength that I could walk a few steps without the walker or any other supports. When they saw this, they put me into the treadmill phase sooner than planned.

We started this whole series on November 29, right after Thanksgiving. They put me on the treadmill for the first time on December 16. With each new type of exercise I've been quite sore initially. But for the last three days or so I've been able to walk at will around the house without the walker. I'm using a cane for "moral support" but not often for physical support. (Using the cane causes more pain in my wrist than not using it causes in my hip.)

Maybe someday I'll find the time to scan the instructions for all these exercises and post them here.

We'll have new x-rays taken before the new year, and the first week of January we meet the surgeon again for another follow-up, hopefully the last.

Is it too optimistic to expect that I might be able to go to Mac World Expo in San Francisco in mid-January? Moscone Center is a huge building. At this point, I haven't even been to Costco or Wal-Mart yet. But you've gotta think big.


Monday, December 13, 2004

High Tech Lets Old Recordings Speak Again

By Jennifer Viegas, Discovery Channel

July 23, 2004 - A high-tech system originally developed to track down elusive subatomic particles is
now being used to digitize old records and cylinders previously thought to be unplayable, according
to the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory.

The new system, created by Berkeley Lab scientists Vitaliy Fadeyev and Carl Haber, originally was
used to determine particle path collisions in research on the Higgs boson, a theoretical particle
believed to give objects mass. Now the technology plays and preserves records and tin and wax
cylinders without even touching their grooves.

Fadeyev and Haber first tested it out on two LPs: "Goodnight Irene" by The Weavers and "Nobody
Knows the Trouble I've Seen" by Marian Anderson. The albums, full of pops, skips, and scratches,
played like new.

A powerful microscope called a SmartScope with a digital camera collects images of the groove
patterns on records or cylinders, which rest on a table moved with precision motors. A computer
program allows the microscope/camera combo to travel forward along the grooves until it reaches the
end of the recording.

The captured image pattern transfers to a computer that translates the tiny, millimeter-sized lines into
sound.

"For discs, the sound is stored in the side-to-side movement of the groove and the SmartScope had a
good ability to image in the two-dimensional plane," Fadeyev said. "For cylinders, the sound is stored
in the up-and-down undulations of the surface. So once we saw that the SmartScope worked
reasonably well on disc, we looked for another instrument, which could measure surface heights."

The instrument they chose was a scanning probe that allows for capture of the three-dimensional
patterns found on cylinders.

http://irene.lbl.gov



Sunday, November 21, 2004

X-rays of a Hip Fracture

Here are the two most recent x-rays of my left hip. The first shows the four screws. The fracture is barely visible, if at all. The second x-ray shows the small "chip" that wasn't fastened with a pin. The red arrows points toward the "chip."

Correction:

We saw the doctor on Wednesday November 24 and he corrected us. The red arrow does not point to the "chip." The yellow arrow does. It is hard to see it. It is in the yellow circle. It is shallow (about 1/4 inch thick) and long (about 1 to 1-1/2 inches long). It has healed up OK but not perfectly.





Thursday, November 18, 2004

Progress Report: Recovery from Bicycle Accident

We have an appointment for follow-up with the orthopedic surgeon on November 24 (the day before Thanksgiving). In preparation, we have to have x-rays done again. We plan to do that tomorrow afternoon (Thursday).

After experiencing a lot of pain the weekend of November 6-7, things have gotten a lot better. I have a lot more mobility in my hip, and pain is infrequent. I usually have pain after sitting in a hard chair, like in my computer room, in the kitchen, or at church. But a lot less pain when sitting in the softer chair in front of the TV. :-)

We hope that the doctor will OK me to start putting weight on the left leg next week. The initial estimate was six to eight weeks, and we just passed the five week mark. We are encouraged by the
much-decreased stiffness and pain over the last few days.


Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Not funny at the time?

Annette Woodruff says:

I read through your notebook and enjoyed the humorous description
of your accident.... although I don't suppose you thought it was funny at the time.

Mark replies:

Actually, at the time I was in pain, but I did think it was quite funny. My first thought was "I fell down and I can't get back up!" My second thought is that now I have much more in common with my retired round dance friends than I ever wanted to! (Most of them are elderly.)

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Fractured Femur Tales

Mary found this diagram on the internet, and she graciously marked it up with my injuries and the treatment.



The diagram on the left shows the two fractures. One sliced right through the neck of the femur, and the other was just a little chip.

The diagram on the right shows where they inserted the four titanium pins. Actually, they are screws with pins inside, so sometimes they call them pins, and sometimes screws.

To give an idea of perspective, the screws are actually about six inches long, and one-quarter inch in diameter.

You might notice that the pelvic structures in the two diagrams are not exactly the same. This has nothing to do with the surgery. Can anyone tell why they are different?


Progress Report: Accident

I have been in some pain since Saturday. Even took some pain killers on Saturday night so I could sleep. This is unusual since I have been doing well for a couple of weeks. It seemed a bit of a setback.

This last week has seen several milestones. Drove the car for the first time since the accident. Took a shower without Mary here to watch after me. I was able to tie my shoes by myself. Big steps forward.

But Mary thinks I overextended myself. Tuesday night at church was difficult because I got lost looking for the new restroom. Spent too much time on the walker. Also, I'm way overdue for a chiropractor appointment, and I think a lot of this pain is not in my hip but in my lower back.

Bill and Chris McCorquodale prayed for me at church Sunday. We need wisdom to know when to call the doctors and what to ask of them, and the doctors need wisdom.

If it seems that web site updates are coming slowly, this is why. If you're waiting for your cue sheet or square dance event to get posted, please be patient. Even just sitting at the computer can be painful. Lying in bed is the best therapy.

I typed up most of this on the Palm Pilot while lying in bed. I probably won't do that again ... way too much work.

I've finished up a bunch of books and started a bunch of new ones. Will post the links later. Also been keeping tabs on a bunch of new ideas for the journal.

The New York Times sends me the headlines every morning in an email. I've looked at a bunch of more conservative newspapers but none of them have a setup to send me a free email. Can anyone suggest a conservative newspaper that will send me an email every morning?

More later ...


Best Square Dance Club Names

Gnat Boxers, Wooster, Ohio

Hippo Hubbubs, Berlin
(Explanation on the web page, if you can understand it.)

Rubber Dollies, Berlin
(I don't even want to know.)

Fallen Arches, Moab, Utah - home of Arches National Park

/Wish we'd known about this one when we were on vacation there./

Hoosier Corners, Richmond, Indiana

Honorable Mention: I could have sworn that I once saw an ad for a challenge club called the Blank Stares.


Tuesday, November 2, 2004

Goblins On The Doorstep

Two very scary characters approach my door.

"Trick or trick!"

Isn't it a little late? Halloween was two days ago!

"It's never too late until the polls close. Trick or trick!"

Shouldn't that be "trick or treat"?

"I'm here for treats, but he just wants to trick you."
"No, he wants to trick you. Don't listen to him."

You guys come around every four years looking for treats.

"Don't give anything to him. He'll spend it all on pork in other districts."
"Don't give anything to him. He'll spend it on military conquests in other countries."

Those definitely sound like tricks.

"I'll make sure you can get health insurance when you get laid off and go looking for work at Wal*Mart."
"No, he'll make sure that when your job goes overseas, you won't even be able to get work at Wal*Mart."

So, what's the good news?

"He'll destroy our military superiority."
"He'll start drafting you and your children."

Now you're starting to scare me!

"He'll take away your guns."
"He'll teach you all about guns in boot camp!"

Ack!

"He'll make sure you never see your social security."
"He'll make sure you pay twice as much for social security as you'll ever see."

Go away!

"He'll kill all your unborn babies."
"He'll kill all your teenagers in foreign wars."

Aieee! They're even scarier than last time! Honey! Give them, something, anything, just get rid of them!

"He he he."
"We're gettin' a boatload of loot this time."
"I wonder if mom will let us eat it all tonight?"


Monday, November 1, 2004

Activities Of Daily Living

Mary's degree in Occupational Therapy has been a great help to me both in the hospital and during my <strike>imprisonment</strike> rehabilitation at home. Not only did she know all the right questions to ask while I was still in the hospital, but she knew how to set things up for me at home before I even arrived. Mary's friend Kathleen Brandt, who also has a degree in OT, helped her set up the house to make things easier for me.

Unless you have an elderly or handicapped relative, or yourself have restricted mobility, you probably don't think in great detail about such mundane daily activities as getting into or out of bed, taking a shower, using the toilet, getting dressed, or eating breakfast. But for someone with limited mobility, these can all be trials. They are called "activities of daily living" and they are the staple of occupational therapists.

In my particular case, there is one major physical problem, and two minor ones. The major problem is that I am not allowed to place any weight on my left foot, and ideally I should not even let the left foot rest on the ground. The minor problems are (1) that I cannot bend my left knee very much due to stiffness in the leg muscles above the knee, and (2) I am not allowed to separate my legs very much because this "abduction" exacerbates the problem of the one small piece of bone that could not be re-attached with pins.

Have you ever tried putting on pants when you are not allowed to put both feet on the floor? Have you ever tried putting on socks or tying your shoes when you cannot reach your foot? Have you ever tried getting out of bed without separating your legs, and without pushing with both legs?

From the first day I was in the hospital, occupational therapists and physical therapists worked with me to help me put on socks, put on pants, and use a walker to hobble around. It's not too difficult with aids like sticks and sock pullers, but it could probably be much more difficult for someone older, or who had multiple disabilities, or who had arthritis.

Mary was proactive getting things arranged for me at home. My brother Craig brought some items like a walker, a commode, and a shower chair that my mother and my aunt had used when they were
ill. Pastor Eddie of Calvary Chapel San Jose sent a brother who lives near us, Gabriel, to install some aids in our house, and Mary's son Aaron also installed some aids. Here is a list of all the aids I am using or have used:

Commode. I used this a lot the first three or four days after I got out of the hospital. Mostly because I was too tired to hobble all the way to the bathroom. Mary put it right next to the bed. Kathleen had the idea of putting water in it ahead of time to dilute whatever I might do into it.

Reacher sticks of various kinds. One has a hook on the end and it is useful for picking up clothes
or pulling up pants by the belt loops. Another has a grip and a trigger; it is more useful for picking up books or papers. It can also be used to reach items on the dresser without getting out of bed. There is also a long shoehorn that I haven't really used much until recently.

Sock puller. This is a clever little invention. It is smooth plastic on one side, and terry cloth on the other. It has two rope handles. You curl it up and place the sock over it, plastic side in, and terry cloth side against the sock. Then you use the rope handles to pull it over your foot. The foot slides against the smooth plastic, but the terry cloth holds the sock firmly and pulls it up.

Grab bars. Gabriel installed one on the wall opposite the toilet, and Aaron installed one diagonally in the shower. These help me to sit on the toilet or get into the shower while placing weight onto only one leg.

Raised toilet seat. This makes it easier for me to sit on the toilet because I don't have to lower myself as far to sit, and I don't have to raise myself as far to stand up.

Shower chair. This lets me sit in the shower, and it also helps me to get into the shower. The details of using it show how difficult it can be do so something as simple as getting into the shower, while not placing the left foot on the floor. Move the chair to one end of the shower. Holding onto the walker, lower my butt onto the chair so that my butt is in the shower but my legs are still out. Put my right leg into the shower. Stand on the right leg, hanging onto the diagonal grab bar. (Left leg is
still hanging outside the shower.) Move the chair back a little. Sit down again. Angle the left leg into the shower. To get out, reverse the process, if I can even remember what the process was.

Walker. I was released from the hospital late Friday night. Fortunately Craig brought an old walker, because the hospital supply did not deliver the new one until Saturday afternoon. I don't know how I would have got into the house if Craig didn't have something I could use temporarily. Mary bought a basket for it, and David Brandt modified the basket to fit the new walker.

Mary made lots of other little accommodations for me. The first day out we bought slippers so I would not have to worry about tying shoes. She also bought me pajamas and new sweats so I could dress in comfortable clothes without a lot of effort. We bought boxer shorts because they are much easier to put on than briefs.

Every day she fills six water bottles that she scatters around the house so I have some in every room. She put all kinds of paper plates, paper bowls, and plastic ware on the kitchen table so I don't have to carry them back and forth from the cabinet. And she put a trash can on the table so I can just throw them away when finished. She bought little cans of fruit so I can eat a snack at the table without rooting through the cabinets or using a can opener.

There are lots of web sites devoted to ADL. Just search for "activities of daily living" using your favorite search engine. My search also showed this commercial site that has photographs of all these kinds of aids:

http://www.disabilityproducts.com/

We did not buy our products from this web site. It just happens to show some good photographs. We bought all our supplies in person from this store located next to San Jose Hospital:

San Jose Medical Market
24 N. 14th St., Suite 140
San Jose, CA 95112
408-280-0416


Sunday, October 31, 2004

Screwy Math

Just a funny little story.

At the first follow-up appointment, I got to see the x-rays after the operation. They showed what looked like large head bolts in my hip. I was surprised how large they were. I thought maybe the x-rays showed a magnified view of my hip.

I told the doctor, the screws look like they are 1/4-inch screws. Without any indication of sarcasm, he said, "No, they are 6.5 millimeter screws."

Doh! Do the math!


Sunday, October 17, 2004

In The Hospital

They wheeled me into pre-op at 7:00 pm as promised. Surgery commenced around 7:30, and at 9:30 I awoke in post-op with Mary at my side. This was on Tuesday, October 12. I was in the hospital until Friday the 15th.

The first night I only wanted to sleep. The nurses woke me up every hour to check vital signs. This didn't bother me. With all the meds in me, I didn't care about anything.

I mostly slept between around 11:00 pm and 3:00 am the whole time I was in the hospital. I was never really comfortable enough to sleep the night through, even with all the drugs. I did sleep a lot during the day, though, since staying awake was way too boring. I hate TV, and I didn't have enough energy to read a book.

Mary visited me every day. Some days I had to chase her away so she could get her own things done. Pastor Eddie Munoz from Calvary Chapel visited me one day. My Aunt Roe visited me one day. And Kathleen and David Brandt also visited me, and they helped Mary with a lot of things at home.

The first morning (Wednesday) they tried to get me to urinate. I couldn't do this lying on my back or lying on my side. The nurses even tried to help me, letting me stand up by the side of the bed and holding me steady. But nothing. I'm not really sure whether this was the result of medications or just a "shy bladder." But Mary says the medications do shut everything down. Anyway, eventually they did put in a catheter because they were worried about the bladder becoming distended. This was an experience, but not as gruesome as I anticipated. The worse part was having it in for a day and feeling it "tugging" all the time. Eventually they pinned the tube down to the bed to keep it from tugging. This helped a lot. For the most part, it just gave the sensation that I was peeing constantly.

That very first day they sent an occupational therapist (OT) in the morning and a physical therapist (PT) in the afternoon. The OT helped me with things like putting on socks and pants. This is not so easy when you can't move your leg, and when you can't place weight on one leg. The PT showed me how to get in and out of bed without placing weight on the foot, and she showed me how to use the walker. It felt good to get out of bed and "walk" around. But it was relatively painless because of the medications.

They gave me some soap and water, and Mary washed me up a bit.

I was quite heavily medicated the whole first day of recovery. Before surgery, they had given me two doses of morphine, plus a spinal. But the spinal wasn't effective, so they administered a general afterward. So the whole next day, I had all the benefits and drawbacks of both. The spinal lasts 24 hours, so until about 7:30 on Wednesday night I felt no pain, which was a great benefit. But when they administer the general, they must shut down the digestive systems. So that whole first day I could not eat or drink anything. My stomach just did not work, and everything came back up. Fortunately I was getting some fluids through the IV.

After 7:30 on Wednesday night, as the spinal wore off, I did start  feeling some pain. They started giving me Vicodin then. It was supposed to last only 3-4 hours but I actually took just one per day, usually in the morning.

I definitely did not get as much attention from the nurses during the day as at night. At night they woke me up every hour, but during the day they did not ever respond when I pressed the button. Fortunately for all of us, I was not very demanding. But there were times when Mary sat with me during the day, and even she could not find a nurse anywhere. My roommate, an elderly gentleman, got lots of attention. And apparently we were right next door to a room where they tried to restrain drug addicts and other malcontents. I only faintly heard a row one time.

On Thursday I started eating again, and passed a little gas. I took these as good signs that digestive systems were back online, and I asked them to remove the catheter. It took a while to get approval for this, but eventually they relented. It was a real milestone when they let me use the walker to access  the restroom, and I was able to urinate on my own. Yes!

We hoped that I would be released on Thursday, but an internist became concerned that my blood oxygen count was low. I tend to be asthmatic and short of breath anyway, but they were particularly concerned that my BOX level dropped after using the walker for PT. The physical therapists also noticed that I was not nearly as steady on the walker the second day, and I had some nausea in the middle of one of my walks. We think it was natural that I was not in as good form the second day, since all the anesthetic had worn off by then. Anyway, the doctor ordered up a bunch of lung scans that didn't happen until late Thursday night, so release before Friday became impossible.

Things went well on Friday. With some breathing exercises, my BOX levels became acceptable. I did well on the walker. I had my first bowel movement since the surgery. I got up and washed myself in the bathroom. I even sat up in a chair to eat lunch. But the doctor did not make rounds until after dinner, so we twiddled our thumbs all day. Eventually they released me around 9:30 pm and we got home right around 10:00 pm. It had been just about 72 hours since I got out of surgery.

In all, I think the doctors and nurses took good care of me, and in particular the internist took extra steps to diagnose a potentially dangerous condition. Mary was also very helpful. She tried to be there every time I talked to a doctor or physical therapist, so she could remind me later of things I might forget.


Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Emergency Room

Tuesday October 12, 2004

After I fell, I first called Mary. But when I realized I could not get up, and therefore I would not be able to get into Mary's car, then I called 911. I knew they could get me into an ambulance for transport.

The paramedics were very friendly. They were going to lock my bicycle to a traffic sign and leave the key with the store owner on the corner, who said he would keep it for me. But Mary showed up shortly after the paramedics. They took the bicycle apart so she could put it in the trunk of her new little Honda, and they used my bungee cord to close the trunk lid as much as possible. Mary couldn't believe how helpful they were.

The paramedics poked at my leg and really did say that it did not appear to be broken ... if it were really broken, just their touching the leg would cause me a lot of pain. However, they advised that I really should visit a hospital and be checked out; if I left on my own, they couldn't be held responsible for me. I knew this was a legal necessity on their part. But of course I had called them because I wanted to be taken to a hospital!

So off we went. They lifted me onto a gurney. Being lifted onto the gurney, and having the gurney lifted into the ambulance, felt like a roller coaster ride. I had to trust them ... I had no choice. I could not move my leg at all. They gave me my little black bag, my water bottle and my helmet. I don't know why they didn't give my helmet to Mary to keep with the bicycle.

My first choice was Alexian Brothers hospital, which is nearest our house, and I thought Mary got very good care there several years ago when she had hernia surgery. But Mary suggested San Jose Hospital downtown instead, for insurance reasons. Because her trunk lid was not closed fully, she brought my bicycle home while I got a ride to the hospital.

At the hospital, I had to be transferred from one gurney to another. The ER's gurney was next to a wall and there was no room for paramedics to lift me from one to another. I volunteered to shove myself from one gurney to the other using my good leg, while one of them held my bad leg to keep it out of the way. In a few minutes, we repeated this same procedure as I shoved myself from the new gurney onto the x-ray table. In retrospect, this may not have been wise, as the x-rays showed a fracture. It's possible I made things worse, but not likely much worse.

After x-rays I was returned to the ER to wait for a surgeon to free up. Just before I had arrived, a child with a broken wrist had also been admitted. The orthopedic surgeon on duty specialized in wrists, and a long surgery was anticipated for the child. Now it was about 5:00 pm and Mary arrived. She would not let me drink from my water bottle. I argued with her. When I asked the nurse, she said no, if I were to have surgery tonight they would want my stomach empty. There were lots of questions about when I had last eaten. They were still uncertain whether I would have surgery tonight or tomorrow.

At 6:40 pm, I was informed that the child's wrist surgery had gone quickly, and I was scheduled for 7:00 pm surgery ... in just a few minutes. Mary and I prayed, and I had no misgivings about the surgery at all. Mary especially prayed that the doctors would have wisdom in case special decisions had to be made during the surgery. She has better foresight about those things than I do.

They wheeled me into pre-op at precisely 7:00 pm. They gave me a shot of morphine that never had any effect. They kept asking me which hip. I asked them whether they would keep asking me which hip until the morphine made me forget! The surgeon informed me of all kinds of minor risks with the surgery. As if I might change my mind. Doh! Again, a legal necessity, but at least I knew what kinds of things we would be looking for during follow-up care.

He would be putting four titanium screws "about this long" (he held his hands about eight inches apart) into the bone to hold it together. Yow!

They brought me into the operating room at 7:20 pm. I don't remember how I got onto the operating table. (I hope they lifted me.) I asked for more morphine since the first shot hadn't made me woozy as they'd suggested. After the second shot the lights on the ceiling started moving. I asked if that were the intended effect ... just trying to keep them informed. They had to roll me onto my "bad" side in order to administer the spinal injection. The medicine flows "down" due to gravity and numbs the side that will have surgery, but not the other side. Then they started to strap me into a "frog" position with my legs separated. But the spinal injection was insufficient so they had to administer a general. They had wanted to avoid this because it had not been fully eight hours since I had eaten.

Having a mask put over my face is the last thing I remember. When I awoke at 9:30 pm, Mary was with me in post-op. I started talking and looking around. Apparently the nurse was trying to tell me not to move my head, but I didn't hear her or didn't understand. Throwing up was definitely the worst part of the whole experience. Mary kept saying, "Stop saying you're sorry about throwing up! You can't help it! It's OK." I guess I'm just too polite.


Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Hometown Boy Falls From Bicycle, Scores Guest Appearance On "ER"

San Jose - Tuesday October 12, 2004

Milpitas resident Mark "Mixed-Up" Brautigam fell from his bicycle Tuesday near the DMV office in Willow Glen, and was whisked by paramedics to San Jose Hospital for treatment of a hip fracture.

After falling, the intrepid cyclist first called his wife Mary, then called 911, and was able to make one last quick call to Calvary Chapel San Jose before his cell phone battery gave up the ghost. At CCSJ, Mr. Brautigam contacted Kathy Acomb, who immediately organized a prayer watch for the weekly Tuesday evening men's and women's bible studies.

After hauling himself to the sidewalk, but unable to stand, Mr. Brautigam ventured back into the street to retrieve his bicycle, which was hindering traffic. The blocked SUV was driven by a soccer mom, who didn't bother to call 911 because she was late for practice.

Regarding the injured cyclist, Willow Glen merchant E. B. White said, "He's a doofus." Local resident Charles Parham said "He's always been a klutz." Pastor Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel
was reported to have said, "These older guys just have to realize they can't do these tricks forever. At some point they have to make way for the younger folks to take over." Elderly resident Joseph Smith said, "These crazy guys just barrel through here like a bat out of a deep place, knocking everyone else over. He deserved what he got."

The 48 year old Mr. Brautigam, who was going over 2 MPH at the time of the fall, said, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Paramedics said the cyclist's injuries looked like bruises but no broken bones. But they took Mr. Brautigam to the San Jose Hospital emergency room, where x-rays revealed a fracture in the neck of
the femur. Surgery commenced at 7:00 pm. After being administered a spinal injection, Mr. Brautigam's next words were reportedly "Ow! Ow! Ow!" as surgeons began to slice into the hip muscle. In response to this unforeseen circumstance and the patient's constant humorous chatting with the operating room staff, the doctors administered general anesthesia in order to shut him up.

The patient emerged two and a half hours later with enough titanium in his hip to trip every airport security system between here and Toronto.

Recent word from Hollywood is that Mr. Brautigam's nude scenes on "ER" were left on the cutting room floor. Fortunate indeed.



This response from Paul Gaboury:

Hey Mark that sounds like a horrible and painful accident. When I was 65 my dad advised me i was too old to do my lifestyle and slow down. Not knowing how old you are am unable offer clinical advice. At 75 I retired from hockey when had hip replacement but that was a piece of cake and no pain whatsoever. At 81 quit skiing as couldn't balance--for instance today at 89 walked into a door opening, scraped off a typical elbow scab and bled all over looking for bandaids. Have quit my golf club and square dancing but Dale and I enthused over ballroom dancing--class lessons twice a week, and we go to black tie supper dances once a month.

So think about it. Maybe you should sell your bike on ebay and concentrate on your dancing. Somewhat safer.

Say hi to Mary for us.

Paul



Mark says:

Paul, thanks for the best chuckle I've had all week!