Handicaps

First, God created the Irish. He said to himself, "These people are fun. They're very fun. But I don't want them to ever rule the world." So to handicap them, He gave them Whisky.

Then God created the Scots. He said to himself, "These people are almost as much fun as the Irish. But I don't want them to ever the world, either." So to handicap them, He gave them Kilts and Bagpipes.

Then God created the Welsh. He took one look at them, and said, "No way!!" So to handicap them, He gave them the Welsh language.

Finally, God created the English. And for the smallest possible moment in time, He was worried. For he knew that these people would come closer to ruling the world than any of the others. So he realized that he needed to give them a great handicap. So He gave them ... the Irish, Scots, and Welsh.